Why Use It
Dialogue is often a very unfamiliar way
of communicating. The purpose of
dialogue is not to win an argument or seek agreement but to arrive at a shared
understanding. The interaction of different viewpoints synthesizes a new,
higher truth.
The first objective of the dialogue
process is to create an atmosphere of open communication. Openness emerges when
individuals become willing to suspend their own certainty (biases and fixed
beliefs) and open to having their thinking influenced by others. In a state of
such openness, they gain access to a shared understanding that would otherwise
not be attainable. It is only when we
communicate our own perceptions that we begin to gain broader, more accurate
knowledge of the situation in its entirety.
How to Use It
Steps
|
Action |
Guidelines |
1 |
Agree that all or part of
the meeting will use the dialogue communication process. |
Stop the meeting every
time dialoging gets off track. |
2 |
Define what dialogue is
and establish the ground rules. |
In dialogue, it is
inappropriate to disagree with or challenge what other people say. The goal
is to listen to everyone’s individual understanding and create a collective
understanding. Practice “active
listening” in which participants, repeat what they think they heard in their own words. If necessary, ask for further clarification
until accurate understanding is confirmed. |
3 |
Get agreement on
determining “what is right” not “who is right”. |
This lessens people’s
preoccupation with defending ego and encourages participants to more readily
volunteer different points of view. |
4 |
Ask what each person wants
from the meeting and their purpose for being there. |
Encourage getting all
personal (hidden) agendas on the table. |
5 |
Ask everyone not to impose
their opinions, biases or fixed assumptions on others. |
Remember, the purpose is
that people realize what is on each other’s mind without coming to any
conclusions or judgments. |
6 |
Make sure opinions, biases
and beliefs come out and no one is suppressing them. |
Shared understanding
cannot be reached if people are unwilling to express their beliefs. True
dialogue begins when opinions can be shared without competitive judgment or
hostility. |
7 |
After every 15-20 minutes,
have 2-3 minutes of ‘silence’. |
These pauses let people
reflect on what was said.
Understanding and shared meaning begins when you stop to examine and
think about what has been said. Continuously wanting to speak and make points
does not facilitate shared meaning. |
8 |
Become sensitive to your
own fixed opinions and biases. |
Whenever strong emotions
are raised by something said, it is a sign that fixed opinions or biases have
been triggered. This is exactly the
time that participants should suspend personal opinions and simply observe
how their own opinions compare to what was said. This can help everyone learn about biases
that often impede personal development and growth. |
9 |
Be open and speak from the
heart about your own experiences. |
Spending time defending
personal experiences or positions closes off opportunities for gaining ‘new’
thoughts and ideas. |
10 |
Listen deeply and resist
the urge to fix, counter or argue the perceptions of others. |
Do not waste time
disagreeing. Accept all perceptions as
simply another person’s perspective. Move away from drawing conclusions and
toward making observations. Remember
that differences of opinion can sharpen understandings. |
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Information Source: Sarita Chawka and John Renesch, Learning Organizations (Portland,
Productivity Press)