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z7Dialogue Process dialogue

Why Use It

Dialogue is often a very unfamiliar way of communicating.  The purpose of dialogue is not to win an argument or seek agreement but to arrive at a shared understanding. The interaction of different viewpoints synthesizes a new, higher truth.

 

The first objective of the dialogue process is to create an atmosphere of open communication. Openness emerges when individuals become willing to suspend their own certainty (biases and fixed beliefs) and open to having their thinking influenced by others. In a state of such openness, they gain access to a shared understanding that would otherwise not be attainable.  It is only when we communicate our own perceptions that we begin to gain broader, more accurate knowledge of the situation in its entirety. 

 

How to Use It

 

Steps

Action

Guidelines

1

Agree that all or part of the meeting will use the dialogue communication process.

Stop the meeting every time dialoging gets off track.

2

Define what dialogue is and establish the ground rules.

 

 

 

In dialogue, it is inappropriate to disagree with or challenge what other people say. The goal is to listen to everyone’s individual understanding and create a collective understanding.

 

Practice “active listening” in which participants, repeat what they think they heard in their own words.  If necessary, ask for further clarification until accurate understanding is confirmed.

 

3

Get agreement on determining “what is right” not “who is right”.

 

This lessens people’s preoccupation with defending ego and encourages participants to more readily volunteer different points of view.

4

Ask what each person wants from the meeting and their purpose for being there.

 

Encourage getting all personal (hidden) agendas on the table.

5

Ask everyone not to impose their opinions, biases or fixed assumptions on others.

 

Remember, the purpose is that people realize what is on each other’s mind without coming to any conclusions or judgments.

6

Make sure opinions, biases and beliefs come out and no one is suppressing them.

 

 

Shared understanding cannot be reached if people are unwilling to express their beliefs. True dialogue begins when opinions can be shared without competitive judgment or hostility.

 

7

After every 15-20 minutes, have 2-3 minutes of ‘silence’.

 

 

 

These pauses let people reflect on what was said.  Understanding and shared meaning begins when you stop to examine and think about what has been said. Continuously wanting to speak and make points does not facilitate shared meaning.

 

8

Become sensitive to your own fixed opinions and biases.

 

 

 

Whenever strong emotions are raised by something said, it is a sign that fixed opinions or biases have been triggered.  This is exactly the time that participants should suspend personal opinions and simply observe how their own opinions compare to what was said.  This can help everyone learn about biases that often impede personal development and growth.

 

9

Be open and speak from the heart about your own experiences.

 

Spending time defending personal experiences or positions closes off opportunities for gaining ‘new’ thoughts and ideas.

10

Listen deeply and resist the urge to fix, counter or argue the perceptions of others.

 

Do not waste time disagreeing.  Accept all perceptions as simply another person’s perspective. Move away from drawing conclusions and toward making observations.  Remember that differences of opinion can sharpen understandings.

 

 

 

 

 

Information Source:  Sarita Chawka and John Renesch, Learning Organizations (Portland, Productivity Press)