Steps
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Action
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Guidelines
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1
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Agree that all or part of the meeting will use
the dialogue communication process.
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Stop
the meeting every time the dialogue gets off track.
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2
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Define what dialogue is and establish the ground
rules.
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In
dialogue, it is inappropriate to disagree with or challenge what other
people say. The goal is to listen to everyone’s individual understanding
and create a collective understanding.
Practice
“active listening” in which participants repeat what they think they heard in their own
words. If necessary, ask for further
clarification until accurate understanding is confirmed.
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3
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Get agreement to work on “what is right” not
“who is right.”
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This
lessens any preoccupation with defending ego and encourages participants to
more readily volunteer different points of view.
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4
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Ask what each person wants from the meeting and
his or her purpose for being there.
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Encourage
getting all personal (hidden) agendas on the table.
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5
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Ask everyone not to impose their opinions,
biases, or fixed assumptions on others.
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Remember,
the purpose is for people to realize what is on each other’s minds without
coming to any conclusions or judgments.
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6
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Make sure opinions, biases and beliefs come out
and no one is suppressing them.
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People
cannot reach shared understanding if they are unwilling to express their
beliefs. True dialogue begins when opinions can be shared without
competitive judgment or hostility.
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7
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After every 15-20 minutes, have 2-3 minutes of
silence.
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These
pauses let people reflect on what was said.
Understanding and shared meaning begins when you stop to examine and
think about what has been said. Continuously wanting to speak and make
points does not facilitate shared meaning.
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8
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Become sensitive to your own fixed opinions and
biases.
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Whenever
strong emotions are raised by something said, it is a sign that fixed
opinions or biases have been triggered.
This is exactly the time that participants should suspend personal
opinions and simply observe how their own opinions compare to what was
said.
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9
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Be open and speak from the heart about your own
experiences.
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Spending
time defending personal experiences or positions closes off opportunities
for gaining new thoughts and ideas.
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10
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Listen deeply and resist the urge to fix,
counter, or argue the perceptions of others.
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Do
not waste time disagreeing. Accept
all perceptions as simply another person’s perspective. Move away from
drawing conclusions and toward making observations. Remember that differences of opinion can
sharpen understandings.
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